e-Book on Russian Women (Part 1)

Introduction
It is of course wonderful to be writing this second edition of my first book. The first edition, has many clients will remember, was written when we where a much smaller organisation operating for a small pool of clients in South Africa, Australia, Britain and the North Eastern USA. There have of course been significant changes since then. We are of course, no longer the same agency we were. Annas Agency® is now a thriving commercial enterprise. We are no longer the small agency we once were
In 2003 USB commissioned a case study to understand our success in the market. They identified many reasons why we are so successful, but the main reason is clear – “Superior customer service at all times”. If you visit our Investor relations and look at the section on brand guidelines, it is easy to see that we live by this simple premise. We believe, if it not helping the customer, we will not doing it. The other critical success factors highlighted in the study include:
We are recognised around the world the world as experts in this industry. We the only agency continuously working with elite law enforcement agencies to police this industry and protect consumers
In the case of South Africa, we striving to draft legislation which will protect clients and isolate fraudulent agencies
“Superior customer care at all times” – we are the only agency to operate along a code of conduct and offer full refunds to customers. We received three awards in 2003; the Brent Award for Customer Care, the Strategos.com Ethics in Business Award and the ARMA Agency of the Year award.
Owners of the Miss Russia World® event thereby giving us access to the most beautiful and sought-after Russian women in the world. This international beauty spectacular will be broadcast worldwide from the Lost City at Sun City in South Africa. The winner will go on to represent various charitable causes in the CIS
Investor Relations – We manage our business as a business. Our investor relations’ page gives investors and potential investors access to key performance data. Our annual results are audited.
Brand Equity – The Anna Reddy® brand name is associated with names such as NYC6th, Feminin, McCarthy Group and Trinity Entertainment. Our brand is managed via strict brand guidelines.
Strong customer focused western management team including, a former management consultant from one of the worlds largest consulting firms, a former executive from one of the worlds largest oil companies, a successful entrepreneur in the fields of strategy and energy, and a professional Russian singer and pianist
Co-founders of the Association of Russian Marriage Agencies (ARMA) – a globally recognised authority on regulating the Russian Marriage agency industry. ARMA provides guidelines for all members agencies and is the ONLY such association. All member’s operate along a code of conduct which protects customers. To verify the authenticity of ARMA please feel free to contact South Africa’s Directorate of Public Prosecution on www.ndpp.org.za, which has links to Interpol.
Founder of the Anti-Trafficking-Movement – a movement, which educates women about the dangers of dealing with un-ethical agencies and the potential dangers thereof. This movement strives to introduce sought-after women to sincere men from around the world.
Reality TV – In collaboration with Trinity Entertainment®, a new reality will be launched in the summer of 2004 which will follow one man has he tries to find his destiny in Russia. If the man is successful winning the heart of his women, the will receive a designer wedding, house in the state of their choice and a car. The event is fully sponsored. The show will be broadcast live both on satellite and via the web.
Diary of Natalia Smirnova – Natalia is an actual woman in our catalogue. Everyday she sends us a copy of her diary, which we publish on our site. Every week, our resident psychologist provides commentary about the diary. This gives clients an unparalleled understanding to what Russian women need, want and feel during this process.
Marriage Support – We provide marriage support in the form of wedding advice, free recipes for women and wedding planning services.
Media Relations – We are the only agency to have developed a detailed understanding of the Russian Marriage Agency industry via a series of commissioned studies. Our research is used by most major government and media departments
Cleary our organisation has grown very large. However I still manage the most important part of the company – customer care. The other principals manage the other parts of the business, but to me, customer care is our organisation. I learned this from the famous Sam Walton. He believed that no matter how successful one becomes, ONE MUST ALWAYS KEEP THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE CONTACT WITH OUR CLIENTS. Raymond Ackermann also said the same thing in his famous book. It is true. I do not believe in hiring people to answer phones. There is nothing more important than speaking to a customer.
Even though we have grown so large, we do not forget the people who took us to the top – Our customers. It is for you we run this business and for you who we will strive to deliver outstanding service. Even though it is now 2 years since we started, I always like to talk about the beginning and the values we have kept from those early days.
I remember when I first met my husband’s friends. The conversation soon moved to where we had met and how lucky we where. My husband told me the next day the office conversation dealt solely with me and how wonderful I was. Anyway a few of his friends thought it would be a great idea to meet someone kind like me. These were sincere and kind men so we saw no reason in trying to help them. Since we did not know much about Russian Dating agencies we simply provided a few names we knew. This was over two years ago.
The first friend lost almost 0 to an agency, which took his money and never bothered to work with him. The other friend also lost money but went through such a long process he stopped trying for almost a year. The other friend pointed out that all information on the internet was so false that men were being duped into wasting their money. Information sites, which claimed to provide the facts actually provided opinions and subjective “analysis” of what was happening.
The embarrassment of being the sole reason for these aborted attempts was reason enough to try to help them. We first needed to put together a “portrait” of a RW and then find some information which could help his friends. This is where this book started. Without knowing it at the time we started a very exclusive match-making service for just three clients. We are happy to say that we were eventually succeeded in finding partners for each man. We will not lie and say this was an easy process. It was long and difficult. But the news of our success spread and we were soon getting requests from friends of friends. We are happy to say that the first 3 couples are now happily married and 2 have a child.
Before long my personal attempts to find a career were postponed indefinitely as my impromptu agency took off the ground. Anyone who has ever been to South Africa will understand how many close ties the country shares with Britain and Australia. Before long this so-called “friend-of-a-friend” network brought in business from Australia and the UK. Since most of the men were from my husband’s social circle they tended to be executives and we were able to offer them fairly tailored services.
Things really changed for us when a major Western mens sports magazine decided to do a piece on young executives lives out of the office. We were asked to come in and do an interview. The image that always stays in my head is the look of utter surprise when the reporter saw how young we were. He had always had the stereotype that “Older men married young Russian women”. My husband and I young. At this moment we realised the how many lives we could change. It would be fair to say “Annas Agency®” was born on this day.
In our effort to really help as many women and men as possible, we have tried to create a unique agency. Every agency posts subjective “research” which is really an advertisement for their business. Every agency claims to be the best on the internet. Every agency claims to have “5000 of the most beautiful women”. And every agency is not playing according to any industry rules.
In late 2003, due to our strong ethics and business standing, we formed a relationship with an elite law enforcement agency to help them understand the industry and draft guidelines to police the industry. It was a moment of extreme satisfaction when this partnership became ongoing rather than once off. Due to the research we produce on the industry, we now provide information to a variety of government and media departments.
We strive to be different. Yes we do provide our opinions where possible. We are of course dealing with people’s lives and future happiness. There is no right and wrong answer in providing advice. We just use our experience and knowledge of the business to guide our clients to happiness. But we also provide detailed information on the Russian Marriage Agency business. As far as we know we are the only agency to have commissioned a major consulting firm to study the industry. We must thank the able research team – Matthew, Lisa and Clark – for delivering excellent work. Selected parts of their intensive one and a half year study are free to anyone who would like a copy.
The best place to start is from the beginning…
Some men marry a RW because it just so happens they meet due to circumstances. Others decide to marry a RW before even meeting them.
Before any man decides he wants to marry a RW, he probably asks himself, “Why?” Why pick a RW over a Czech, French or even Brazilian woman? This would be a question most men have in their head when they decide to go onto the Internet let alone go all the way to Russia. It is not a question that is easy to answer. In fact I do not think any one can ever give you this answer. Each man will have his unique but equally valid reason.
It is important to remember that RW are like any other women. They have hopes, dreams, desires, fears, wishes, ambitions, imperfections etc, etc, However it would be totally wrong to say you should try to date a Russian women the same way you would date a French women. The environment has turned them into different people. They react to things in different ways. That is the theme of this book. I will take you through the life of typical Russian women. By reading this you will develop an appreciation and deeper understanding of what to expect and what not to expect.
There are many, many types of Russian women, but I think any women you meet will fall into one of the following categories. For each of the pros and cons I write…. their still only one thing to consider. If you both are truly in love…nothing else will ever matter!
“Village girls”: The majority of clients we have are looking for girls with good, wholesome values, not materialistic, looking for love and happiness, not tainted in her thinking, brought up with strict family values where the unit of the family is fundamental to happiness. As far as we know we are the only agency to offer such a type of women. These women tend to be harder to find since they are usually located far away from the offices of the agencies. They tend to have old fashioned values and see the wife as the custodian of the house.
For: These RW tend to have very strong values and if she marries a man, then it is usually for the right reasons. Because family has tended to be such an important part of her life, she will spend much time making sure her own family works. She will usually support her husband in whatever way she can. She will work very hard to make the relationship a success. She will initially try to please you in the only way she can…by being a good wife. This can be particularly frustrating if she can find no Russian recipes to cook. Refer to our section on Post Marriage support for advice.
Against: The first time such a women arrives in the big city can a period of painful adjustment. This can lead to depression, need for her family and a desire to meet other Russian people. She will also find it very difficult to reconcile the idea of a living in a big city where most people can be cruel. If the husband is supportive this period of adjustment can be quickly overcome.
“Social Butterfly”: Russian women with bright prepossessing appearance, considerable mental abilities, with an adequate self-evaluation and a rather high and stable social status. Lately, the women of this type can be encountered in greater numbers in Russia, but they are mostly city-dwellers. Most women of this type live in industrial and commercial centers.
For: You won’t be ashamed of your choice: you will have a right to be proud when taking such a woman out; she will make a good companion for your mind, as well as for your heart, as the Russian saying goes. She is able not only of talking, but of listening as well as giving sound advice. Your self-esteem will be satisfied: if such a woman has chosen you, then you will be a really be the recipient of much envy.
Against: Leadership is in man’s nature. That’s why before you bind yourself to such a woman, think it over whether it will be easy for you to comply with her leadership; won’t her overwhelming positiveness cast a shade upon your own personality and assimilate it: won’t you feel a free supplement to her merits? Also decades of propaganda has led to us believing RW are submissive….Social Butterfly’s are not submissive!
“Angels”: Beautiful and intelligent Russian women of a high social status, but for a number of reasons (upbringing, failures in private life) their self-esteem is short of adequacy.
For: It is much easier to make the relationship take shape with such a woman; she will think of you as of a winning ticket which the wind of fortune has thrown into her humble path; you’ll get hold of a 1st type woman but for awareness of her own attractiveness. It will make you feel a lucky gold-digger who has come upon a nugget.
Against: Women of this type can get scared of the prospect of relations with you, can refuse to believe in your good feelings and intentions because of I-don’t-deserve-him attitude, so that you will be forced into proving the contrary time and again with a risk of getting bored to death; besides. One agency described such women in the following way…”you risk marrying a woman who doesn’t love you for very often women of this type choose a man obviously inferior to them to make their own beauty and intelligence more prominent, emphasized by such a ‘background’, and you will agree that being a ‘background’ is not a most pleasant thing. Therefore, make sure that her feelings are genuine before you marry a woman of this type.”…I think this is so untrue. These women are merely looking for someone to believe in them. Someone to tell them they are special and can really accomplish anything they try to do. If you show someone that you care, they will return your love in more ways then you could possibly hope. And I speak for myself here. I have always had men trying to be with me from a very young age. But due to personal difficulties I always thought I could never achieve anything and I would always be alone. The reason I married my husband is because he proved he loved me not for just for my physical beauty. For a very long time I thought there was no such thing as true love, it was a fabrication of Hollywood. I thought I would never find a young man who shared my interests and goals in life. But I found such a person. When I help my clients this is what I always remember. True love is possible with the right guidance. I love him because he showed me what was and is possible.
“Supermodels”: Beautiful but rather limited Russian women who are usually in love with their own person. As a rule, they prefer to work as models, secretaries and aspire to becoming actresses.
For: Is there a man who, even for a moment, hasn’t dreamt of marrying Claudia Schiffer of Marilyn Monroe? It is great to take such a woman out for she provokes envy almost in everybody.
Against: Such beauty can be compared to a box of chocolates: they are sweet. But it is in human nature that a person can’t survive on chocolates only, in the long run he will long for something more nutritious. It’s the same with women: after all, some day you’ll want to talk with her, to share you joys and sorrows, to get her advice and help. But do not expect this from a “Supermodel”. Women of this type can be placed into the category of women to beware of (see the unit “Russian Women to Beware Of”).
“The Girl Next Door”: Russian women of good appearance and of very high level of intelligence. They are usually engaged in average work.
a) If she is self-confident she will find a partner without much difficulty. They are aware of their winning and losing points and learn, in the long run, to emphasize the first and to smooth over the latter.
For: Such woman will never bore you, since she’ll always find a topic for a conversation. You will never know the throe of jealousy: there are few men who are indifferent to looks craving for exclusively intellectual intercourse; you’ll always remain a superman for her.
Against: Not all of your acquaintances will appreciate your choice: people will judge your choice by its exterior.
b) She may be of average appearance and lacking in beauty
For: Such woman will never bore you, since she’ll always find a topic for a conversation. You will never know the throe of jealousy: there are few men who are indifferent to looks craving for exclusively intellectual intercourse; you’ll always remain a superman for her.
Against: It will take you much time and effort to raise her confidence, to make her feel self-assured; her poor image of herself may affect your personal life: she may shun the society of your friends and making visits: she may give up pretty clothes not to draw attention to herself.
“The extra”: These women of this type can be called neither beautiful nor ugly; they will not set the Mississippi on fire but are far from being stupid, are sure of themselves; in most cases they belong to the middle class; they do not like to take the responsibility in business on themselves.
For: These women represent the stereotypical RW; they are domestic, comforting, not intricate at all. You’ll always feel at ease with them, they value their husband and know how to please him, they make the best mothers and housewives.
Against: If you favor surprises, mysteries, surges of emotion, tension of passions, diversity – this is not your type.
“The wannabe”: Women with poor physical appearance and low level of intelligence, whom you are unlikely to get interested in. Such women
Apart from this classification, the Russian woman can perform several social parts: the Mother, the Mistress, the Wife.
The Mother
In Russian mentality the woman is, above all, identified with a mother. A kind, patient, child-loving, wise, with a maternal instinct of support and protection, strong-willed, strong and just, caring patroness.
The Wife
Tranquil, even tempered, virtuous, rational, modest, caring, practical, neat, prefers to dress well but not provocatively. In her relations with the man she values most of all reliability and stability. She will take care of her man’s looks and his proper diet. Has a tendency to sacrifice her own interests. Her attitudes are conservative.
The Mistress
Emotional, impressionable, unpredictable, playful, flirtatious, capricious, sexual, sensuous, prefers to dress in bright, striking colors. In her relations with men she values most of all the amorous atmosphere, sex. She seldom worries about marriage. Bringing up children is not her idea of life.
Thus, the type a specific woman belongs to is determined by a combination of various factors and by her personality. Your search of a woman with a clear-cut mark of an isolated type from the above mentioned is most likely bound to be a failure because each Russian woman will try on several roles in her life.
Russian Women and the Standard of Living
You must already know that the standard of living in the west differs remarkably from that in the West. A typical RW will get up in the morning, have a shower and prepare breakfast for her family if she has brother or sisters. Since salaries are so low and jobs so unpredictable, it is very common for RW to live at home with their parents until they are very old. She then goes out at about 7am – depending on the time of the year and distance from the office – passing many drab, neglected apartments before waiting at the bus stop for a bus. Cars are a luxury in most families and you will rarely see a twenty-something girl driving her own car – unless she works in a large city for a large company
If she happens to work late she will get a taxi by stopping a car on the side of the road and asking the price. If both woman and driver agree on the price and everything looks safe for her she will use this car or if not, she will stop another car…until she will find a suitable car. Most of the drivers use their own cars to drive different people during the day and night and have no other means of supporting their family.
The women try as often as possible to not use taxis as they are very expensive. More and more former professionals have started offering taxi services as the economy suffers and they lose jobs
She gets to work at about 7:40am and goes about her job. Women usually arrive earlier for fear of losing their jobs. Since very little regulations exist for employees, there is no provision for tea breaks and lunch is usually 30 minutes. At lunch there is usually just enough time to get lunch and then go back to work. She should finish at 5pm and go home. But this is rarely the norm. Lack of regulations mean employees – especially women – are forced to work longer hours then necessary.
Also it is very common for a beautiful woman to be harassed by her male co-workers. The request from a pretty woman’s boss to stay after hours for “work” is usually an indication that work is the last thing on his mind.
The woman then usually stops along the way to buy the necessities for the home before arriving home at about 7pm. Weekends are not any different. The women needs to awake early to help her mother at home and then may spend the rest of the day helping her family or preparing for family friends who may visit.
Here comes the interesting bit. If these are friends of your parents, the conversation will eventually move to the woman’s chances for marriage and they will exert pressure on her to get married. They almost always know of some young man who will make a wonderful husband for her.
And this cycle continues, with very little chance to break away. Russian do not marry Western men for their money or a better life, they marry a western man for a normal life. This something any man must remember when he goes to Russia. Yes there are many women looking at money, but you do not want to marry them. A women must see the side of you she will need when she experiences difficulty in life, the side she will need when she will obviously experience failure.
For her some commodities that are considered natural by an average foreigner are thought of as a luxury. A Russian family income of 0 is viewed as very high and signifies top standard of living. Her income will probably be between 0-150. It is not rare when a woman cannot find a job for many months even with a degree. There have been many cases where a women as struggled to find a job, only to be fired for no apparent reason and denied payment.
This usually happens in businesses where labour is cheap and abundant. For example, in the restaurant and clothing boutique businesses. There are literally thousands of young women waiting to get jobs in these companies. It is an unfortunate but common occurance
Moscow and St. Petersburg are notorious for this. Certain bogus tourist companies exist wh
Household electric appliances have been introduced to Russian homes only recently and only in wealthy families. Today an average Russian family possesses such electric appliances as an electric kettle, a mixer, a tape-recorder and a TV-set. Lately a video cassette recorder has been added to the lot.
An automatic washing machine, a dish-washer, a microwave oven and an automatic kitchen set the complement of a very high income family. Therefore Russian woman has to do much more work by hand or using semi-automatic household appliances and to waste much more time on it than a foreigner. Pre-prepared food is an extreme novelty. The first time I went shopping with my husband to a chain called Woolworths, I was amazed at the level of convenience afforded. All food is pre-cooked the same day and delivered fresh. The concept of my husband deciding to get up at 9am buy food over the internet and have it delivered in 45 minutes will be new to any RW.
A Russian family very often doesn’t own a car, let alone a car for each member of the family, many do not own an apartment, let alone a cottage. A personal computer is not a wide spread phenomenon as well.
Many Russian women cannot afford attending a gym, a beauty salon (CHECK), hairdresser’s and expensive high-quality cosmetics. Therefore she has to be her own style specialist, hairdresser and sport coach. This explains why RW are so easily able to keep themselves well groomed – they have had much practice.
Low level of income prevents Russian women from buying expensive clothes of well-known trademarks. Winter clothes present a special problem: Russian winters are very severe and a fur coat is not a luxury but a necessity. And though her budget is very tight, a Russian woman will emerge with flying colours. It is worth mentioning that foreigners are continually surprised to see so many women in expensive fur coats on the streets of Russian cities
Russian do not marry Western men for their money or a better life, they marry a western man for a normal life. This something any man must remember when he goes to Russia. Yes there are many women looking at money, but you do not want to marry them. A women must see the side of you she will need when she experiences difficulty in life, the side she will need when she will obviously experience failure.
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